Controversy in the Men's Bathroom
by EbonyIvoryy
Summary: The men in Briggs seem quite taken with Miss Rockbell. Edward eavesdrops in the boy's restroom. Implied Ed/Win; T for hardcore language and sexual implications.


**Title:** "Controversy in the Men's Bathroom"  
**Pairing:** Ed/Winry  
**Rating:** T+ for hardcore language and sexual implications.  
**Summary: **The men in Briggs seem quite taken with Miss Rockbell. Edward eavesdrops in the boy's restroom.  
**Disclaimer: **Arakawa wishes us fanfiction writers didn't smut her characters so much. /guilty  
**A/N: **Originally posted on my LJ.

_**~xxx~**_

_Drip._

This is not good.

_Drop._

Kimblee's here. With Winry.

_Drip._

Her fate lies in the palm of the Fuhrer's hands.

_Drop._

And now, she is being tossed around like a ragdoll. Between the snapping jaws of Fuhrer King Bradley and the Crimson Alchemist.

_Drip drop._

Edward was in distress. He knew that nowhere in the entire Briggs fortress would provide a nice, silent thinking space—except for the men's bathroom, that is.

Thus, he has spent the past ten minutes sitting in a stall, reviewing his possible options. His chin rested in his palm, nose scrunching in thought. His bottom was planted to the toilet seat, honey eyes squinting in concentration.

_Drip drop._

But that damned '_drip drop_' of the sink swayed his focus. Who knew water could be so loud? It tugged at every nerve in his body. He couldn't even find peace and quiet in the fucking bathroom.

_Drip drop._

What options did he have? No matter how he looked at it, there was no way out. Winry was screwed. If he disobeyed Kimblee or "Wrath" in any way, it just took the lifting of one finger to suck the life from his dear mechanic. She didn't deserve this. Why couldn't they just keep her out of it?

Because she was valuable, that's why. Valuable to the FullMetal Alchemist, and therefore served as an excellent hostage.

_Drip—_

The door cut into the silence with a loud _creak_, followed by the heavy footsteps of Briggs soldiers. There were four of them, judging from the sound. They seemed to be having a casual conversation whilst strolling into the bathroom, snickering a bit here and there, then responding in a calm tone. All four stopped at a urinal, providing a nicely-sized gap between each of them (which was a generally unspoken rule between men).

The sharp noise of zippers flying down pierced his ears. Edward silently cursed to himself, wishing they would hurry up and piss so he could get back to thinking.

Let's see… what if he called a bluff? What if he acted as if Winry meant nothing to him? Maybe that would lower her "value" to them, thus dropping her as a—

Shit. The men wouldn't shut up! It hazed his thought more than the leaking faucet. Did guys really talk this much in the bathroom? Of course not; hell, they sounded like a bunch of girls.

He tried everything he could to block out the sound of their voices and the waterfalls of piss, but it was no use. Too damn distracting. Edward sat up straight, inhaled through his nose, and closed his eyes. If he could just find his center…

He had almost blocked them out. Almost. Until the mention of Winry's name came up, however, causing his ears to perk, eyes snapping open.

"I heard she's from Resembool," one man claimed.

"Resembool? Isn't that in the south?"

"Fuck, it must be warm there."

"Anywhere would be warm compared to this place."

A pause cut into their conversation. A very long one, at least to Edward.

At last, one of them spoke. "…I'd screw her."

His eyes widened. He leaned forward, as if it would enhance his ability to eavesdrop.

"…Winry? Bro, isn't she still a kid?"

"Well she's pretty darn voluptuous."

"And blonde!"

"I can't help it, either. Those tits are just outrageous!"

"I wonder if she's a virgin…"

"Pfft, she probably gets fucked all the time. She works in Rush Valley, after all… that place is filled with filthy men."

"Ain't that the truth."

"That FullMetal kid is lucky."

"Yeah, he probably pounds her _all the time_."

To say he was taken aback would be an understatement. It didn't take long for shock to turn into fury, however—veins throbbing in his temples, eyebrows furrowing, teeth grinding together. How _dare_ they even…

One man sighed. "Damn it, why do the young ones get all the action?"

The other laughed. "You're just bitter 'cause you turned thirty."

"What? Age doesn't matter, I could be with Winry if I wanted!"

"Oh yeah? And you think she'd want to?"

"Feh. I bet she'll open her legs for anything with a dick."

Now, blood was rushing to every square inch of his face. Ed may have been bleeding from his ears, in fact. His entire body felt like a tea pot over a heated stove, trembling and screeching, ready to boil over. They can't talk about _his_ Winry like that! Or… well… not that she's _his_, but… whatever! He'll make them pay for the sick things they said! It's fucking degrading!

"Don't make me think about that right now, man. The last thing I want is a hard-on before I get back to wor—"

_Clak!_

The door to the stall slammed open. There stood the FullMetal Alchemist, furious rings in his wild eyes, marks of anger disgruntling his features. His muscles tensed beneath his red coat—the color that they would soon be covered in. By the way that he glared, the way that he claimed his territory… well… it didn't sit well in their stomachs.

"F… FullMetal…?"

**_Fin._**


End file.
